April Meeting Recap

Four of us met at Noodles and Co. during a lovely April shower to discuss She Said Yes: The Unlikely Martyrdom of Cassie Bernall by Misty Bernall, Cassie's mother. We all thought it was a quick, intriguing read that, while religious, was not preachy. The point of view was interesting; it must have been difficult for a mother to write. We were all also taken by surprise at Cassie's conversion story. She had really gotten into some dark things. When reading about a religious girl like her, we all pretty much expected her to have grown up with those beliefs.

Probably the climax of the conversation was Sheryl's observation that the big difference between Cassie and the Columbine gunmen were that her parents were so involved. They didn't just worry about her, they dug in and fought for her, and she kicked and screamed the entire way. The sacrifices they made--moving, mom quitting her job--were huge. They didn't give up, even though that would have been easier. What if Dylan and Eric's parents had done the same? Without passing too much judgement, there must have been some signs that these two boys were seriously disturbed. The parents claim they hadn't noticed anything, but is that a sign of non-involvement? Granted, Cassie's parents learned about her dark issues by chance, so maybe Dylan and Eric's parents just weren't nosy or lucky enough.

Which brought us to a brief discussion about the parents. We wondered whether it would be more difficult to be the parent of a murdered child or the parent of a murderer (not that either would be in any way "easy"). We unanimously determined that the parents of the murderer were worse off because they would probably never find closure. We certainly admired the Klebold's courage in writing and sending a letter of apology and condolences to the Bernalls.

This is certainly a book that we'd be comfortable sharing portions of with our students and also suggesting for students to read. We thought that the point of view might not be all that inviting to young adults, but the interesting story would probably override the from-an-adult issue. Religion is discussed, but it isn't preached. There is no talk about eternal damnation and the author doesn't push Christianity as truth. It is simply something that is important to this family and was one of the tools they used to try to help Cassie change her ways.